Standing Firm

I want to capture what I was feeling on the bus last Tuesday as I talked to a student named Marko. As he was sharing his view of this country, my heart broke. He has no hope of a future here. He sees all being destroyed and thus, is leaving. I think of so many similar reactions that students have to my being here: “Why in the world are you here?!?! We’re all trying to leave!!!”

Internally, my response to Marko is, “What of those who have no hope of anything different? What of those who cannot leave?” The Markos can perhaps state reality the most plainly because they have seen the rest of the world and they are not trying to deceive themselves any longer. They are soon to leave this country. They don’t have to be optimistic anymore. They can wash their hands of this situation and move on.

What of those left here?!?! When will hopelessness reach a climax? When will this country’s identity be lost in the ocean of past history?

I feel that we as the western world have been deluded into a false sense of security and peace. There is an enemy within that will one day reveal itself. Society does not make a man and the men that make society are wicked and bent on pleasing self. When pushed to it or pressed to, this identity will spring out with destructive frenzy.

I wonder if we will again see that here. World peace will never happen and I doubt if the powder keg identity and role that the Balkans have played in the last 1500 years of human history will ever change.

Jesus said that in the end times the love of many will grow cold. He said that we would hear of wars and rumors of wars. Nations will rise against nation and these are but the beginning of the birth pangs.

I don’t have much hope for the nation of Serbia. I have seen some of the strongholds that exist here and I don’t know if they will ever be torn down. But they don’t need to be. Because this is not the promised land. This is not Zion. My job is to call people to see heaven’s kingdom, to see the true promised land. To shout the warning cry of coming destruction to the people.

I watched a movie tonight that talked about perspective in life. At the beginning the main character has made a mistake that has cost his company $972 million and he thinks that his life is over. His journey to discover the true value in life takes him from the point of despair to his relatives in a small town in Kentucky and then on a road trip back to Oregon. Through all of this he learns that his “perfect job” had been empty of meaning and true life was in the small, seemingly simple stuff.

I liked this theme in this movie because it seems that so many of us in this world, and perhaps especially in America, are “chasing after the wind.” There is tremendous pressure to be successful in the world’s eyes and if we’re not careful, it can strip many years off of our lives. It’s not until we look back on everything it’s taken and see the wreckage in our wake that we realize the full danger of this drive. Let us not get lose perspective on the wrong things.

As I see it, the only way to truly live rightly is to have a proper hierarchy of priorities. Only if Christ is first and foremost in all that we do can we properly see how to care for our family. Only if our family is next can we properly see how to support them. And it goes on from there. But it’s so easy to mix these up. If family comes before God then we end up making them an idol and we don’t love them out of the love that God gives us. God designed us to work in contexts. In the context of being of child of God, much becomes clear about ourselves and how we relate to others. In the context of being a child, a spouse, or a parent, much becomes clear about how we relate to the world.

For myself, I know that right now I could be content living anywhere in the world no mater what the living conditions were because everywhere I go would be in the context of being a child of God. As I continue to live, more will become clearer, especially as I marry and have children, but the foundational perspectives and contexts that I am realizing now will remain. Praise God for His care and interest in our lives, for we would be nothing without Him!

I knew that before, but it seems that I still try to underestimate my body’s need for sleep. Four to five hours a night just doesn’t seem to cut it.

To prove a point, my body let me get sick.

So that’s what I’ve been doing all day, fighting off these cold germs that are causing my body to cough, ache, and generally not feel good. Hopefully after rest I have given it today, it will decide to be well tomorrow…

But despite all of that today, I was really encouraged after a conversation I had with two students last night. They both went to the English camp last summer and I have known them for about a year now.

We were talking about the different retreats that we do and they were wondering if there is any way to make them multi-national. They want to see a camp at which students from different countries in the Balkans that are involved with Campus Crusade come together. They said at something like that we could see that we are all really just people.

This was really exciting for me to hear, because this is one of the things that I would like to see happen here. I would like to see students from the different countries in the Balkans get together and do humanitarian aid in the name of Christ. I think that would be huge in illustrating the love of Jesus to a people that have experienced tragedy and horror. I believe it’s also the only way that people here can experience peace, through the forgiveness and love of Christ.

Pray that guys like these would see the vision of what God could do through them. Pray that God would be raising up more change agents in this generation of students!

I’ve been going through some thinking lately about where I fit in and what my role is. As I look at life, it seems to me that there are many different roles that we can fit into or get locked into. There’s who I am with family, with friends, at church, at work, doing ministry, ect. So many different categories, so many different aspects of me that come to the surface as a result of what gets reinforced by those around me.

The thing that I’ve been learning here on my stint team is how to grow into authenticity with my fellow teammates. This has been a process that must be intentional. See, it started out by getting to know each other at the beginning of the year. To do that we were super intentional, asking all kinds of questions about family, friends, school, interests, you name it. Each of us started forming a picture of the others from this. Now, halfway through the year, we have to make sure that our experience of each other hasn’t stopped there.

We could do fine for the rest of the year going with the current team dynamic as it exists now, but we would then miss out on so much. Friendships require continual care and fostering; that is what we want to do here. We want to be known be each other so that God will be better glorified and served through our team. By us knowing each other, we love each other more. This love for each other then becomes a tangible expression of the Gospel to those around us.

I want to be consistent in living who I am as God is shaping me. I want to let go of all the expectations I, and others, have about me and live my life as I truly am in front of people. I want to be able to cut the act and walk the real walk. All of this God is enabling me to do. I have let go of everything that I was holding on to, and I have accepted the life that He has given me.

One of the great perks of having a staff team with us is the wisdom and love that accompany them. We spent all day together, starting this morning with a devotional and spending the rest of the day showing them around the city.

I really liked the devotional that Steve led this morning. He said a lot of it come from what he learned while he was living in Barcelona; wrestling with why it seems tremendous spiritual growth happens overseas but back in the States the norm tends to be “causual” Christianity. He knew that isn’t supposed to be the case, you don’t have to be a missionary or pastor to experience God’s dynamic work in you. These are two things that stood out to him as he sought the answers in Scripture.

1) Be reminded of the Gospel over and over and over again.
The Gospel is the whole point of the Bible. It contains the story of how God reconciles us to Himself. A great encouragement comes when studying what God’s motivation is in saving us. Hebrews 12:2 states that Jesus endured the cross “for the joy that was set before Him.” What was that joy? The way of salvation for man! The saints are the joy that was before Christ’s eyes. That was the only thing that Christ didn’t have before He came to earth and that which He left with victoriously. Do you know the depth of God’s love for all the saints? For you? Does it blow you away? That the God of the universe loves you in this way?!? There are many other verses which expound on God’s love for the saints. As we go over these verses and know and experience God’s immense love for us, we can’t help but to grow tremendously. This growth is simply the response to revelation and “heart” comprehension of God.

2) Be continually involved in the great commission.
Matthew 28 contains the passage labeled the great commission, but really the whole Bible is the great commission. When sin happened, God pursued Adam and Eve. The Bible is all about God’s pursuit of man. It’s most clear to me when I ask two questions.
a) Who is God? God is the supreme being and creator of all seen and unseen. He is holy and all good, perfect and omnipotent, and much more.
b) Who is man? Man is dead in trespasses and sins, separated from Christ and having no hope.
God and man are separate. No commonality. Enter the Bible. The Bible describes the reconciliation of mankind to God. This is the context of the Old Testament preparing for the Messiah. This is what Christ accomplished. This is why He established the church. We are God’s agents of reconciliation!

As we understand God’s heart for us and His calling in our lives, we experience growth because these things resonate in us like nothing else can. We were made for this: to bring glory to God. By focusing on this in Scripture and praying that God would enlighten His truth upon your heart, you will see the desires of God come alive before you, applicable in your life and those around you. Setting our eyes on Christ will give us an eternal perspective with which we can see clearly where to take the next step. It also shapes our attitude and gives hope and meaning as we realize our purpose.

How great is our God and worthy of praise! Amen?!? Amen!

This past weekend marked an annual youth conference in Serbia. It was held in Novi Sad, so we attended two of the big group meetings on Sunday.

While we couldn’t understand much of the content, it was incredibly encouraging to see about 250 young Serbians who were committed to following God and seeing His Gospel preached to their countrymen. The title of the conference this year was Break Through and was in part focused on students gaining motivation for sharing the Gospel with others back in their towns throughout Serbia.

Praise God for raising up a people excited about sharing His love with their people. Pray that God would greatly encourage them and strengthen them in a land that is hard to live an authentic Christian life.

Deception has become a persistent reality here. Pray that I would hold to the truth and that the lies that have been rooted in my spirit would be flushed out and exposed.

Tonight as a team we had a intensive time of reflecting on what we’ve been feeling the past few days. There have been a range of feelings, but a thread of continuity was the lies that some of us have been hearing and believing. Lies like, what we are up against is insurmountable, who are we to be here engaging in what we’re doing, we are from a totally different culture and we can’t relate to the people that we are supposed to be ministering to, the hearts of students are beyond repentance, no one wants to change, we should expect this year to be more about our personal growth than effecting change in anyone else…

All of these are lies that are contrary to the truth of God. We were able to identify these and bring them collectively before God tonight. It is amazing that when we expose lies to light, they quickly shrivel up. When we discuss these things in the community of our team we gain perspective. It is sometimes very hard to bring these things before each other, the sharing of our thoughts and feelings is revealing parts of ourselves that most people don’t see. It’s the part of us that isn’t put together. It’s unanalyzed, unprepared to share before an audience, it’s raw. But when we share with each other in vulnerability and openness, God shows us some pretty interesting things. We gain perspective. We realize that all of us might be thinking the same thing and we find encouragement in the community of emotions. We can rejoice with each other and weep with each other. God uses our insights and things that he has been showing each of us to bring encouragement to us as a whole.

One thing that is becoming more real to me is the nature of Satan that is talked about in John 8:44. Jesus describes him as a liar and the father of lies. We should then expect to hear some of these lies as we do battle against him. I think that in part, our emotions serve as a gauge of spiritual attack. One of our first alerts to oppression is the emotion that we feel. By talking about our emotions collectively, God shows things we might now have picked up on if we had just kept them to ourselves.

An exercise in which I imagined that I was in the story of Luke 9:10-17. I focus on the first two verses of this passage.
Walk into this story. What do I feel? What do I taste? What do I say? What is said to me?

Who exactly in this Jesus? I’ve heard some incredible stories about him. I heard that he is in Bethsaida today. That’s only a forty-five minute walk! I’ll go right now. I’ve got to see who this Jesus is.

As I near Bethsaida, I’m amazed by the number of people that are walking with me. There are hundreds! Apparently I’m not the only one who heard that he was here. I had worried whether I would be able to find him. I needn’t have, I just follow the crowds and they lead me there. As I approach the massive crowd that is there, I start looking for Jesus. “Have you seen him?” “Where is he?” As I am inquiring, a man starts speaking from a nearby rooftop. Oh good, he must be about to introduce Jesus. But where is he? I don’t see anyone that looks that distinguished. He must be inside, getting ready to make his entrance. Surely someone this popular is well protected, he would certainly need to be if he’s really talking about establishing a kingdom here. The Romans can’t be happy about that, can they?!

Wait a minute, that guy that’s supposed to be introducing Jesus is still talking. What’s taking him so long? What’s he saying? That’s weird; he’s talking about the kingdom of God. He seems to be taking the main part of Jesus’ speech. Hold on, that can’t be him, can it? There’s nothing spectacular about him. He’s not that tall, really. I wouldn’t even have noticed him if it hadn’t been for all these people here. How can this guy be establishing a kingdom? No one would follow him, would they? But there are all these people here.

All of a sudden, he looks at me.

Right into me.

Time seems to stop.

Those eyes!

The ones that pierce to the depths of my soul and the love,

Oh, what love, that looks at me and sees me, really sees me.

I’ve never experienced anything like that gaze before.

He knows me and loves me, that much is now clear. I don’t know how, but this Jesus whom I’ve never met, knows and loves me more than my closest friend, or even my own mother! How can this be?!? And the other thing is, I now know this all from just His gaze into me. This is wild!

He wants me to follow Him.

I know that too. Well, how can I refuse?

I will.

I will follow this Jesus. This makes sense. It makes more sense than anything I’ve ever known before. I must follow Him, for truly this is what I was made for…

This whole issue of pride in the Christian life is adequately and abruptly answered by I Corinthians 4. Thinking back to what I said yesterday, the complexities of the Christian life seem to become natural responses when the realities of God are seen in their brilliance.

This is how I am to regard myself: as a servant of Christ and a steward of the mysteries of God. There it is. That’s the truth of who God has said that I am. Now, if I can see myself as that, the response should follow. And it’s helped by the guidelines that Paul gives. Next verse: because I am a steward, it is required that I be trustworthy. There’s something powerful in that. I think of the stewardship of money. It’s easy to see why I must be trustworthy. I cannot steal, I must keep careful track of it, I must invest wisely. This is also easy to see with time. I ought not to fritter away my time and I must invest it well.

Now this is the same attitude I should have with the mysteries of God. I have been entrusted with these and I ought not to fritter it away or steal it or the glory of it for myself. I must invest it wisely. I must steward the mysteries of God.

Secondly, I should consider it a small thing to be examined by men, I ought not to care what other people think of me because it is the Lord who examines me! I have been entrusted with these mysteries and I will by held accountable of how I steward them by God Himself! Of course, it becomes a small thing then how other people see me.

My flesh is fueled by people’s admiration and respect, but what is that really? When juxtaposed against the Lord’s examination, this becomes shallow and non-consequential.

What starts to happen when people realize God’s kingdom breaking through?

Transformation happens. The Christian life becomes simple. That’s what happens! When I see God’s glory and understand His authority it puts everything in perspective.

Perspective.

That’s a good word. That’s what “influential” people had. Think of Elisha’s servant who saw the armies of God standing in full array around the city. Elisha had been aware of what was around and it made it easy for him to do what God wanted him to do. Think of the mount of transfiguration, the dying vision of Stephen, the courage of Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, the leadership of Moses and so many more. Take Hebrews 11, the hall of faith.

All of these people had one thing in common. They saw clearly who God was in a world that was blind to it. Their clarity of vision allowed for right perspective of what is true and real. They saw the kingdom of God breaking through a false world, and as such it made this world seem dead, dark, and grey, lifeless, decaying, rotting, full of filth. It was a paradigm shift that happened and the world that once offered everything and was arrayed in glory and glamour and proclaimed the fame and greatness and glory of man was shown to be a cheap facade. For in the presence of truth, lies are shown for what they are and the glory that was once so sought after is shown as a rotting, stinking poison.

Lord, I long for a proper perspective of who you are. Show me your kingdom so that everything else would fall into proper place.